How to find ourselves

I am continuing to summarize Missional Church and found this quote today: “We find ourselves not independently of other people and institutions but through them. We never get to the bottom of our selves on our own. We discover who we are face to face and side by side with others in work, love, and learning." (*This quote is found on p.150 of Missional Church, and is a quote from Habits of the Heart: Individualism and Commitment in American Life, by Robert Bellah.)
While self-reflection is helpful, I don't think we are ever really able to see ourselves clearly without the help of others. We just have too many blindspots. Some times these "others" are friends, "faithful traveling companions" as Gina Praino says. But other times they are people that irritate us. One of my goals in life is to thank God for these people, too. Like it or not, some of the people that I have found the most difficult to love have been used by God in my life to help me to grow.