randalevan's blog

The long journey to reach our starting point

Jacquie and I began our most recent adventure about four years ago. We felt it was time to come "home" to California after having been away for about sixteen years in Spain and New England. That was when we started walking. Where would we end up? What would we be doing? All we knew was that we were committed to loving God, loving our neighbors, and wanted to serve in whatever meaningful way we could both in the San Francisco Bay Area and in Spain.

"Trust Me" and the Pacific Grove Triathlon.

Given the fact I will enter into my fifth decade tomorrow, I decided I would get one more blog post in while I am still in my forties!

I wanted to write a quick post about an amazing experience I had two weeks ago today. As many of you know, I started doing triathlons in June, a small miracle in and of itself, given the fact I hadn't been able to run (*knee problems) for over ten years, not to mention the fact that I never swim. Anyway...

Immediately following my first "tri" in Morro Bay, I signed-up for my second in Pacific Grove...scheduled for September 10th. All my training was going as planned, and except for the occasional jitters and anxiety (*prayer works great...as does telling myself to relax!), I was good to go. Well, until early Friday morning...September the 9th.

"You can't do that."

 

When was the last time somebody told you, "You can't do that"? I have certainly heard it a time or two! I was reading the foreword of a book on Saturday morning and it got me thinking. It describes some of the obstacles the author had to overcome in order to get her book published. She received multiple letters of rejection from a variety of publishers. Here is one of the comments she received: "Lady Di could be cycling nude down the street giving this book away, nobody would read it."

In spite of all the opposition, she felt like the book had something to say, so she tried one more time...and the rest is history.

The book I am referring to is Feel the Fear...and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers and I have a copy of the 20th Anniversary Edition. The publisher who said "Yes, you can!" has sold over 2 million copies so far.

I guess all the other publishers were wrong...and they probably kicked themselves when they saw how successful the book has been!

Jeffers isn't alone. People are telling us all the time, "You can't do that." Let me share with you just a few examples.

Comparison: another obstacle to joy

The preacher pissed me off at church yesterday. It wasn't her fault. She did a fine job. In fact, I encourage you to listen to what Susan had to say. (Go to: http://www.vcfp.org/sermons.html, then select the sermon for May 22nd entitled, "Greed is Good".)

The reason I became angry was because the topic - money - is a sensitive one for me & Jacquie right now. Our whole world (*that, I recognize, is a bit of an exageration!) has been turned upside down. I spent the last 20+ years devoting my life to my calling: pastoral ministry. While I still feel called to be a pastor, I am currently choosing to not be paid for it. (*For more on this, please check-out my April 27th post: Overcoming Conflict (More on "A Million Miles...".)

So, when the sermon began and the preacher started talking about money, I began to celebrate my own little pitty party. Boy, am I glad no one else was invited!

Overcoming conflict (More on "A Million Miles...")

Donald Miller is a master story teller. He can make you laugh (check out the story about the girl he notices and wants to impress so he tells her he is going to hike the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu - Kindle location 1276), and, he can make you cry (for example, the story about his friend Jim who lost his wife of twenty-seven years to cancer - 2382.) In each, Miller hits home the definition of a story worth telling: "A story is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it." (670.)

I can relate to overcoming conflict. For the past five or six years, I have been asking myself, my friends, family, and God Himself for wisdom about how to live the only life I have to live. I have this sense that I am going to continue to be a pastor, but, that it will look very different than it has looked over the past twenty some-odd years. But what will it look like? That's where my conflict comes in.

Christmas all year round?

Do you know what "Epiphany" means? I had some idea, but decided to look up the definition on dictionary.com. Here is part of what I found:

e·piph·a·ny

/ɪˈpɪfəni/ Show Spelled[ih-pif-uh-nee]

1. (initial capital letter) a Christian festival, observed on January 6, commemorating the manifestation of Christ to the gentiles in the persons of the Magi;

2. an appearance or manifestation, esp. of a deity.

So, Epiphany the holiday happens today. (*And if you have never lived in Spain or any other country that celebrates El Día de los Reyes, you don't know what you are missing. In our kid's experience, living in Spain meant you received gifts on December 25th AND January 6th!)

But epiphany the manifestation of a deity (*in this case, Jesus) can happen any day. Jesus can breakthrough and come to life in the midst of the thick and thin of daily living. But..., how can that be?

How to have an abundance of God

This quote gets me every Christmas season: "No one can celebrate a genuine Christmas without being truly poor. The self-sufficient, the proud, those who, because they have everything, look down on others, those who have no need even of God - for them there will be no Christmas. Only the poor, the hungry, those who need someone to come on their behalf, will have that someone. That someone is God. Emmanuel. God-with-us. Without poverty of spirit there can be no abundance of God." (Oscar Romero, a Salvadoran Archbishop who was assassinated while celebrating Mass...murdered, because the day before he had cried out on behalf of justice for the poor.) Taken from Watch for the Light: Readings for Advent & Christmas, p. 141 & 142.

Exercising our Faith Requires Taking Risks

Wouldn't it be nice if walking by faith was easier than walking by sight? No risk, no worries, and no confusion or doubts. The problem is, then it wouldn't be faith would it? The writer of the ancient letter to the Hebrews described faith in this way: "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." (Hebrews, chapter 11, verse 1.)

But what does "confidence" feel like? In my experience, it feels like jumping off the edge of a pool, believing that God will catch...but there is that hesitancy you feel before you actually leap...and...the adrenaline and fear that rush through your veins when you are airborne, inbetween the safety of the pool's edge and God's arms.

I had the privilege of traveling to Spain last month...something that I have been able to do quite often over the past nine years...something that I am grateful to God for. On the way back, I had what I would describe as a "divine encounter"...an encounter with someone who had recently taken "the plunge of faith"...someone who had a message from God for me...that I would like to share it with you.

You are my Beloved - Part II

Here's the second half of the Nouwen quote from the other day...

“I am putting this so directly and so simply because, though the experience of being the Beloved has never been completely absent from my life, I never claimed it as my core truth. I kept running around it in large or small circles, always looking for someone or something able to convince me of my Belovedness. It was as if I kept refusing to hear the voice that speaks from the very depth of my being and says: “You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests.” That voice has always been there, but it seems that I was much more eager to listen to the other, louder voices saying: “Prove that you are worth something; do something relevant, spectacular, or powerful, and then you will earn the love you so desire.” Meanwhile, the soft, gentle voice that speaks in the silence and solitude of my heart remained unheard or, at least, unconvincing."

my wish

i have always liked this song...

 

  My wish, for you, is that your life becomes all that you want it to.