"You can't do that."

 

When was the last time somebody told you, "You can't do that"? I have certainly heard it a time or two! I was reading the foreword of a book on Saturday morning and it got me thinking. It describes some of the obstacles the author had to overcome in order to get her book published. She received multiple letters of rejection from a variety of publishers. Here is one of the comments she received: "Lady Di could be cycling nude down the street giving this book away, nobody would read it."

In spite of all the opposition, she felt like the book had something to say, so she tried one more time...and the rest is history.

The book I am referring to is Feel the Fear...and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers and I have a copy of the 20th Anniversary Edition. The publisher who said "Yes, you can!" has sold over 2 million copies so far.

I guess all the other publishers were wrong...and they probably kicked themselves when they saw how successful the book has been!

Jeffers isn't alone. People are telling us all the time, "You can't do that." Let me share with you just a few examples.

A guy I know and really admire liked a girl, so he asked her out on a date. She said, "No." Well, he really liked her, so instead of walking away defeated he asked, "Why not?" She explained her reasons, and when she finished, he asked when she thought she might say "yes". She gave him a date. He waited patiently for the day. Then he asked her out again. Do you know what her reply was this time? You got it...she said "yes". Oh, and by the way, they went on several more dates...and then got married! Good thing he didn't give up trying."You can't do that"? Baloney!

Some of you know that I went to Cal Poly SLO on a football scholarship. (*Don't be too impressed. All I did was spend my first year of college injuring different parts of my body.) Well, it's a big jump from high school sports to college sports...even playing for a D-II school. I was an outside linebacker and the guys playing first string were so good that it seemed to me like they had come from another planet. Thankfully, they were nice guys...well, "nice" for football players.

One guy, Mel, told me to not give up. It was really encouraging to me because I told myself all the time, "I can't do this."(*Btw, after my first year I realized it was not a question of "You can't do that", but rather "Hey, I don't want to do this" so I quit. One of the best decisions of my life...it opened a door to study in Spain where I met my wife, helped me to develop a relationship with God, and began to teach me how to not be so extraordinarily selfish and self-centered...which, btw, is an ongoing lesson.)

It turns out that the coach told Mel when he was a freshman that he would never play for him. Two years later, he was starting at outside linebacker. Two years after that, he was playing for the Washington Redskins. I guess Mel COULD do that!

"You can't do that" is a phrase that has been spoken throughout the history of mankind. You even read stories in the Bible about people being told, "Hey, that's impossible!"

One such story is what happened to God's people when they were told to go and inhabit the Promised Land. Moses sends twelve men into Canaan to check things out. The land is amazing, just like God told them it would be. They named one of the places Eshcol Valley (*eshcol means "grape cluster" I am told). Apparently they cut a branch that contained a single cluster of grapes that was so heavy it took two men to carry it on a pole!
Well, not only did the Promised Land have giant fruit, it also had giant people...so big that ten of the spies said they felt like grasshoppers before them!

Of the twelve spies, only two - Joshua & Caleb - believed that they could take the land from the giants. That's about right...in our lives we will often find 2 in favor, 10 against. Typically, most people succumb to fear (they call it "wisdom" or "common sense") and play it safe.

I encourage you to check out the story. It is found in the Old Testament book of Numbers, chapters 13 & 14.

If we want to be the person that God created us to be, we will face challenges. This is true for you if you are in high school or have an AARP card...and for everyone in-between. Some of my current challenges include job transition (*two, simple words that describe a process that I could spend a ton of time expressing all the emotion behind...but I will resist for this post!), weight loss, triathlon training, graduate school (*will I ever finish my thesis?!), and preparing to attend San Jose State's bilingual teaching credential program in the Fall.

How do all these challenges make me feel? In a word, "Alive". And, "Grateful". I can also feel frustrated, foolish, confused, and angry. But when I survey all that is going on, I wouldn't want to change a thing...well...except I would like to have a ton of money in the bank!

Helping people say, "Oh, yes I can!" has literally transformed my life, and, is part of what I do as a professional life coach. If you need someone to partner with you to accomplish what you haven't been able to do alone, send me an email and we can connect - randy@randychasecoaching.com. I LOVE to cheer people on as they pursue the things that mean the most to them!