Comparison: another obstacle to joy

The preacher pissed me off at church yesterday. It wasn't her fault. She did a fine job. In fact, I encourage you to listen to what Susan had to say. (Go to: http://www.vcfp.org/sermons.html, then select the sermon for May 22nd entitled, "Greed is Good".)

The reason I became angry was because the topic - money - is a sensitive one for me & Jacquie right now. Our whole world (*that, I recognize, is a bit of an exageration!) has been turned upside down. I spent the last 20+ years devoting my life to my calling: pastoral ministry. While I still feel called to be a pastor, I am currently choosing to not be paid for it. (*For more on this, please check-out my April 27th post: Overcoming Conflict (More on "A Million Miles...".)

So, when the sermon began and the preacher started talking about money, I began to celebrate my own little pitty party. Boy, am I glad no one else was invited!

Self-pitty for me looked like this: "Hey, they're worrying about how many weeks of vacation they're going to be able to spend at some exotic destination this summer while we're wondering whether or not we'll make rent next month!" I couldn't define who "they" were, but I was quite in-touch with the "we/me" characters in the story.

I'm smart enough to know that what I was feeling was a bunch of baloney, but I still felt it. And it bothered me. And I didn't want to feel it. So, I asked God to help me.

The first thing that happened was I felt like Jesus spoke to me. It was something like, "Aren't you glad to be out here with Me?" Truthfully, I was. Then I talked to someone after the meeting and they told me how much the teaching had challenged and helped them. After that, I had a great conversation with Jacquie where I knew that if I brought out into the light some of the things lurking in my heart that I would be able to distinguish what was good - and what was not. (*Thank God for my wife!)

The more I "chewed" on the subject, the more peace I had. I was reminded of a conversation that Peter and Jesus had in the Gospel of John, chapter 21, verses 18 thru 22: "I tell you the truth, when you were young, you were able to do as you liked; you dressed yourself and went wherever you wanted to go. But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and others will dress you and take you where you don't want to go." Jesus said this to let him know by what kind of death he would glorify God. Then Jesus told him, "Follow me." Peter turned around and saw behind them the disciple Jesus loved - the one who had leaned over to Jesus during supper and asked, "Lord, who will betray you" Peter asked Jesus, "What about him, Lord?" Jesus replied, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me."

When I think about this exchange, I realize once again that the only thing that matters is that I respond in faith to what Jesus is telling me. It will be similar to what He tells others. But, there will be things that are uniquely personal...because He created me and knows me, and, His plans for me are not the same as the plans He has for others.

This comforts me and frees me from comparing myself with others, feeling sorry for myself, wondering why it seems like others get an easier ride than me, etc... (*Btw, I have never in my entire life met someone who I would want to trade lives with. There certainly have been areas of people's lives that I really liked, but I have never wanted to take the whole package. God, without a doubt, has blessed me and my family.)

I learned once again that if I compare myself with someone else I will either feel short-changed or proud. And, that I will experience less joy, less peace, less faith, and less vision for the future. I think I would rather fix my eyes on Jesus and on His plan for me...and experience joy.

Fear can limit us, hold us back, keep us from pursuing our dreams, and from becoming the people God wants us to be. The fruit - rotten fruit, that is - of comparison does the same thing.

 

Comments

[Kevin Courter]

Randy,

Thanks for sharing.

I so look forward to seeing how your and Jacquie's faithfulness to God will be richly blessed in this challenging season. You're faithfulness continues to be a source inspiration for Janice and me.

Kevin

[randy]

you are my neighbor and my friend. thanks, kevin!

[David]

The seasons of life are interesting to say the least. :)

I am on week 7 without work. My disability barley covers my health insurance - and like Job, I some days think it would have been easier for everyone if I had not been born - or at least the heart attack had taken my life. But that is not what God is doing. In the midst, a new season is emerging, filled with exciting challenges, more places to to grow, to thank Him and know His faithfulness more deeply.

Hang in there!

[Sean]

We are in better company than we would at first assume.