I had a few conversations recently that had a big impact on me. (*I did a teaching at the church I am part of about a month ago on these three conversations. If you want to listen to it, go to www.vcfp.org, click on "Sermons", then go to the May 10th, 2009 teaching entitled "My Sheep Know My Voice", and then click on "download". Hope you find it helpful.)
Each of the conversations were about God and what people think He is saying to us. The first was with a friend from Spain. He was telling me how the problem with Christians is they just aren't committed enough. Sadly, this belief in many Christian leaders I know is the hidden message in almost everything they say, especially from the pulpit. So, regardless of the topic being taught, congregants get a steady diet of shame dished-out each Sunday. (*Gee, I wonder why churches are so small in Spain?) The message beneath the message is that God is disappointed in us. We don't do enough for Him. We don't go to enough meetings for Him. Don't give enough of our time, talents, and treasure to Him. "I'm so disappointed in you" is the message God wants delivered to His people. Hmmm. That makes me want to cry...
The second conversation was thanks to a friend from the Palo Alto Vineyard.
He sent me a link to a radio program that had troubled him. It was from National Public Radio's “This American Life". They did a spot about a football coach at a Christian high school in Texas who inspired his team’s fans to root for the opposition: a team from the local juvenile correctional facility. Among the thousands of emails that the coach received in response to his actions, one stood out to him. Trisha Sebastian mentioned her loss of faith, and coach Hogan got a message from God that he was meant to bring her back... (*You can listen to it at http://thisamericanlife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=378)
Trisha grew up believing. But, about 3 years ago, one of her dear friends came down with cancer and died. This crushed her. She just couldn't understand how God could let this happen. So, her disappointment and confusion led to unbelief. The coach's loving action to ask his team's fans to root for the opposing team stirred something in Trisha. So she sent him an email.
To make a long story short, the coach wrote her back and told her that God had put something on his heart to tell her. Trisha thought, “Oh, crap, what is He going to say?!” So, she asks the coach for permission to tape their phone conversation so that it can be heard on NPR. He agrees.
The conversation basically goes like this:
Trisha tells the coach, “I want to know what God is telling you to tell me.”
The coach responds with all kinds of arguments to prove that God exists.
It wasn't what she expected. Trisha was struggling with grief over her friends' death. She had hoped that the coach would counsel and console her.
He instead argued with her about evolution and the existence of God.
So, according to the coach, God is trying to convince us that He really exists. Sounds kinda pathetic, doesn't it? It didn't work very well for Trisha either. Imagine that...
The third conversation was more helpful...thank God! It was over coffee at Peet's with Gregg Caruso. He is the interim pastor of the San Carlos Vineyard...and a great guy. During our conversation, he shared with me his desire to grow in the spiritual discipline of solitude. He mentioned an article by Henri Nouwen, a Dutch Catholic priest and author, that he found helpful. It sounded interesting to me, so I asked him to email it to me. Here's a quote from the article Gregg sent me:
Solitude is being with God and God alone. Is there any space for that in your life? Why is it so important that you are with God and God alone on the mountaintop? It's important because it's the place in which you can listen to the voice of the One who calls you the beloved. To pray is to listen to the One who calls you "my beloved daughter," "my beloved son," "my beloved child." To pray is to let that voice speak to the center of your being, to your guts, and let that voice resound in your whole being. Who am I? I am the beloved. That's the voice Jesus heard when he came out of the Jordan River: "You are my beloved; on you my favor rests." And Jesus says to you and to me that we are loved as he is loved. That same voice is there for you. When you are not claiming that voice, you cannot walk freely in this world. Jesus listened to that voice all the time, and he was able to walk right through life. People were applauding him, laughing at him; praising him and rejecting him; calling "Hosanna!" and calling "Crucify!" But in the midst of that, Jesus knew one thing - I am the beloved..."
I know that God loves me. When I look back at my life, well, the life I have enjoyed since I became a Christian in my late teens, I see that His love has influenced everything I do, everywhere I go.
How has God told me that I am His beloved, that He loves me? For me, one of the first things I heard Him say to me was, “I will never leave you.” That was really important to me, given my childhood. (*Briefly, my parents got a divorce when I was a kid...long story.)
For others, what God will say to them is, “I will love you even if you fail.”
For still others God's words of love will be, “I will forgive you for the unforgivable.”
For each and everyone of us it includes, “I love you so much, that I want to adopt you and make you My son or daughter...so that you can be with Me always.”
What is God trying to saying to us? Is He saying, “Hey, I am really disappointed in you?” Or, “You know what? I am much smarter than you are. Just watch me argue and debate you into believing me”? I don't believe God is saying either of those things to you, or to me.
I believe that what He is trying to say to us in both word and deed is that He loves us.
In my own life I have come to experience and know that once we hear that God truly loves us it changes everything. May that be true of your life and those you love, too.
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